Sweet and Savoury Motivations

I went to a teaching development workshop the other day, which was a great workshop. I learned a lot and made some great connections. However, I was also given all sorts of information on how to get a fancy certificate for attending. And it got me thinking and realizing that the sugary motivators that are held out before all of us from high school on through our undergrad are really no longer appetizing to me. I don't need to hear that this line will look extra pretty on my CV or resume. The sweet symmetry of a 96% on a transcript just doesn't thrill me anymore. I don't need a certificate - not even if it has a pretty gold seal. Even a neatly rolled up degree to collect dust under my bed doesn't feel very motivating. I don't really want to make any more money than I could make by leaving school now. So as I enter "grade 18" as you could call it, I feel like I've eaten so much of this false motivating candy, that I'm feeling a bit ill from it all.

So then, what happens when these sweet motivators are no longer motivating? Why should I work so hard to research physics education? To pour hours into my TA work? To complete paintings? To make music? To plan study groups? Why am I here, and why am I doing this?

I think that my motivation at this stage of my life looks much more like what I was motivated by when I was in kindergarten. And while I loved chocolate in kindergarten too, I like to think that my motivation both then and now is surprisingly more savoury and longer lasting. When I think about the things that drive me to get up in the morning and do life, these are the motivators that I think of today:

1. I love people. I want to give someone the precious gift of a place to belong. I want to see my students feel comfortable with themselves and confident in where they are headed. I want to see them smile. I want to see my friends feeling beautiful, and my family feeling important. People are surely the warmest motivators.
2. I'm curious - so curious that I remember spending a full year in elementary school trying to work out the formula for permutations and combinations since (fortunately) no one had told me that such a formula already existed. I just wanted to know how many different phone numbers or license plates there could be. And now that the grades and CV lines and certificates, which had sparkled often brighter than my curiosity in high school and undergrad, have lost their shine, I feel like that beautiful curiosity is able to motivate me more and more. 
3. I love to be loved. The approval, especially of those who I particularly look up to, is as important a motivator for me now as my kindergarten teacher's "that's a beautiful painting" was. It still means so much to me when someone tells me they felt connected or touched by my art, or that they learned something exciting in my class. Maybe it's childish, but I'd be lying to say that love and approval aren't still a very significant motivator for me.
4. I need meaning beyond my tiny life. Perhaps here is where my kindergarten theory diverges a bit. To be honest, I don't recall a deep need for meaning in kindergarten. But I certainly am highly motivated by it now. I want to have done something good with my life - something that could impact people in positive ways for years to come. I want someone's life to be better because of my life. I want the world to be better because of my life - at least by a little bit. I want to make God smile.

I see many different motivations in my first year students. Of course, many are highly motivated by marks - so much so that they would choose a boring course over an interesting one just because they think they could achieve a higher grade. But I think there are quite a few students who are motivated by things other than grades, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better and finding out what these other motivators are.